Check your teeth.

Sometimes the best advice is the advice you give to everyone else.

“The dentist has bad teeth.”

I heard myself saying this to someone lately and was reminded of how true that can be. The simple sentence is the reminder that often the people who are best at helping others, neglect themselves. So, the dentist skips his own check-ups. The hair dresser wears her hair in a simple ponytail. The housekeeper rarely makes time to organize his own cupboards. When I spoke the sentence, a verbal finger-wagging at my victim, I realized that three of my fingers pointed back at me. I needed to look in the mirror. This travel writer is sorely in need of a vacation.

That statement might surprise you. I understand. It’s because so much of what travel writers do for a living showcases the best parts of your vacation. We consistently show you the beauty of travel, help you navigate the bumps and offer up a mild scolding when you leave those PTOs on the table.

But that’s the job: to do the research so that your vacation can be phenomenal. Those are the restaurants you’ll be able to dine in, the hammock you’ll be able to snooze in, the beach waiting for you to walk it. My job is to visit a destination and, in as short a time as possible, glean what a week of lazing there would be like. But actual lazing is rarely part of the job.

This is NOT a complaint. I love what I do and I feel privileged to do it. I was a medical malpractice litigator once. Believe me, I know the grass is likely greenest right where I am.

But all of that travel, (last year I flew more than 79,000 miles on Air Canada flights alone) helped me forget that I haven’t had a real vacation in a long time.

And so this week, I booked one. Never has anyone smiled so wide while giving money away to someone else. Hitting that button may have been a lifesaver and in the immediate afterglow, here’s what I remembered:

1. The world feels less gloomy when there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Just knowing that I had a vacation on the books turned my mood around.

2. You can’t pour from an empty cup. We hear it all the time because its true. And you may not even realize your cup is running low but there will be signs: exhaustion, irritability, feelings of helplessness… Your body requires attention. And the engine will burn out if you don’t tend to your own needs.

3. If you’re type-A personality (*raises hand) and self-employed (*raises other hand) giving yourself time off can feel like failure. That’s time when I could be hustling hard. Or helping my kids. Or checking in on my parents. Often, this is why it takes so long for us to get to the point where we recognize we are in a danger zone, physically, mentally and emotionally. I wish I knew how to eradicate the guilty feelings, thinking of a vacation can bring on. I’m working on that. But the minute I booked the vacation, those thoughts were replaced with ones that celebrated how much better I’ll be able to give to those I love, when I’m rested and ready.

4. My type -A, list-making self can work for me. In this moment when the importance of taking time is clear, I’m making plans for the vacation that will follow this one. I’m already looking at the calendar to see where I can schedule some time. I’ll be booking my next vacation, before I finish this vacation, because then it becomes a commitment and those are harder to cancel.

5. Despite the lavish lifestyle I often share through my stories, I myself am not rich. Taking cash out of my needs for my wants isn’t an easy decision. But – and this is a lesson I’ve learned over and over again in my life – self-preservation IS a need. Everything else falls apart without it. You don’t have to book the Ritz to have a break. Find it where you can afford it. For me, this trip, will lean heavily on saved frequent flyer miles. If those weren’t available to me, maybe my vacation, would happen closer to home.

My point: If you, like me, have been pushing your vacation aside, I respectfully suggest you reconsider. Have some stacked PTO you haven’t paid attention to? Let this be your sign. Working for yourself and not building in that downtime? Trust me, it’s a recipe for disaster.

While the dentist may have the worst teeth**, it doesn’t have to be that way. Especially if they’ve got a friend who can point out the looming dental disaster and offer up a mirror.

I hope that I’ve been that mirror for some of you today.

Stay warm and well,

Heather

** This post is in no way a reflection of my own dentist, whose teeth are impeccable. ;)